I’m falling apart in my old(er) age …

hepI sort of knew it. But its been confirmed. (Again.) Thankfully, I’m happy so I’ve got that going for me.

Obviously, I’m too old to be a doctor, to go into the military and to be a police officer. Even if I wasn’t, medical facilities make my palms sweat and if I ever carried a gun, I’d only be a danger to myself. For sure, I’d shoot myself in the foot–or take out my own eye.

But now I’m too old to wear shimmery eye shadow?

Darling Daughter joined me at the computer, as I looked for makeup tutorials for 42-year-old women.

Daughter: Mom?

Me: I think I might need a change. I don’t want to be one of those women who don’t adapt as they get older. Who wear the same frosty lipstick…

Daughter: Your makeup always looks good. You shouldn’t change it.

Me: I don’t know…

Daughter: But no shimmery eye shadow. The cutoff age is 25 on shimmery eye shadow. They just said…

Me: I was thinking of adding a little shimmer to my lids.

The truth? I’d almost purchased shimmery eye shadow earlier in the day. And I almost NEVER buy makeup.

Daughter: Only matte eye shadow for you.

Dodged that one!! Seriously, I’m no makeup artist. Nor do I page through magazines for current looks. I spend about 3 minutes applying makeup. A quick swipe of powder/foundation, a sweep of blush on each cheek , eyeliner, one coat of black mascara and a dab of lip gloss–and sometimes a neutral beige (or brown) on my eyelids.

I’m totally screwed if there is an age limit on shiny lip gloss. (I like the ones with a touch color and a hint of shine.) I cannot believe Darling Daughter didn’t suggest a complete overhaul of my makeup routine—given there isn’t one!!

My gums are receding?

Because my job is sales/marketing, I’m often out and about in my car. Which is where I was when my dentist called to schedule an appointment, because its been over a year since my last visit. They had a cancellation later in the day.

“Hmmm…no reason I can’t be there at 4pm today.”

A couple of hours later I lounged (or at least reclined) in the dentist’s chair, while the hygienist  scraped my teeth. I mentioned that my teeth seemed more sensitive.

Hygienist: Your gums are receding.

Me: Oh?

Hygienist: Just another thing that goes as we age…

Me: I thought I was imagining it…

I need glasses. Badly.

I’ve always had an astigmatism and with it a minor prescription for glasses or contacts. I wore contacts for a couple of years. The ones you change monthly. They annoyed me. I’m not delicate enough to gently place a little thingy in my eye.
One time, I had two in one eye on accident. (And a splitting headache.) Another time, they got on my nerves and I plucked them out of my eyes and tossed them out the car window. Kids and then-husband were stunned…

I kept thinking I’d be fine if I found my old glasses, I could wear them when I needed them. And I did find them a couple of days ago, in the console of my car. Hurrah! I was so excited. I took them inside, washed them off and slid them on my face. And…
No luck. My eyes have taken a turn this past year, too! The old glasses I used to throw on when I really, really needed them no longer work.

Lastly, denim jackets are back?

I didn’t know they left!! That’s what I was trying to explain to Daughter. That I probably won’t know when things go out. So I was checking online to see if I should update my makeup…
The worst? You know its bad when something has been out for so long, that it comes back around—and you’re still sporting the look. And back in style AGAIN!! This hasn’t happened to me yet. (That I know of…) Unless you count my denim jacket.
It’s official. I’m falling apart. Probably was official long ago, when I never quite lost all the baby weight.
And no amount of eye shadow, makeup or hair product is going to change it anyway. My gums are receding, but with any luck I will stop short of having the smile of Mr. Ed. (The horse).

My solution?

I’ll simply NOT replace the glasses, of course.fuzzy snowflakes

I’ll live in a fuzzy, softened, haze. Hell, that’s probably why our eyesight goes as we age. It isn’t another curse of aging. It’s a blessing…

It’ll be wonderful. My world will look like blurred snow scene to the right!!

 

 

About Amy Lauria

A writer among other things...in the Cleveland area.
Gallery | This entry was posted in Daily Life of a Single Parent, The other Side of 40 and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to I’m falling apart in my old(er) age …

  1. Maggi says:

    Amy, you know there are probably people who read your blog who have no idea who Mr. Ed was! Another sign we’re getting older!

  2. Anonymous says:

    OH OH I did not realize i bought some glimmer eye shadow till i brought it home. Thought oh well i will use it! I am going to pitch it. WAAAAAY over 25!

  3. Stella says:

    I wear shimmery eye shadows……..hmmmmmm I am a bit over 25.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s