Yet again, I am a Role Model for Perfect Parenthood.
Busy yesterday putting together a brochure for a freelance job and preparing for a Writers Group Meeting, I didn’t quite have dinner together.
Okay…my cupboards were as bare as Mother Hubbard’s Cupboard.
Although my ex-boyfriend and I no longer date, his children, my children and I often spend time together. And despite her brother being my ex-husband, we are pet sitting my sister-in-law’s dog this week.
I swept out of the house at 6pm to get to my meeting, leaving behind; my two teenagers, the ex-boyfriends three teenagers, a couple of boyfriends and three dogs. With the potential for more teens to stop by…
In the car, I rang up the ex boyfriend to let him know that I was out for the evening and that I had left a houseful of unsupervised teenagers with no food back at my house. He got another call and said he would call me back. It’s a good thing I didn’t wait…
My ex boyfriend is on a bender of a health kick. Complete with exercise and lots of healthy food. He has dropped a fantastic amount of weight—and quickly. At the rate he is going, he will soon look like Charles Atlas.
If I were a betting girl, I would guess that ‘Charles’ consumed some concoction of protein and veggies–while our children ate sugar cubes??
‘Charles’ let the children know that he had plenty of ‘good food’ over at his house. And that they were all welcome to come on over when they got hungry. He has always been a good sport about a slew of kids, my two dogs and even a couple of cats making themselves comfortable in his house.
A couple of kids’ ears perked up at his offer, because my ex-boyfriend is known to be an excellent cook. Then his daughter (the one I refer to as my godchild) described his new eating habits. Gone are the huge dinner-breakfasts of pancakes, hash browns with homemade creamy sauce, bacon, sausage, eggs, and biscuits. Gone are the Mexican feasts, Avocado cheeseburgers on thick buns with homemade French fries…
Instead of heading over there for healthy food, the children ran to the store for the ingredients to make “Puppy Chow.”
“Puppy Chow” I said, visualizing the children drizzling chocolate, butter and sugar over real dog food. God knows, we have enough of it in the house this week!
“No,” Said my daughter “It’s Chex Mix cereal, chocolate chips, peanut butter, powdered sugar… “
“Oh,” I said, beginning to get the idea. I’ve never actually made this Puppy Chow junk before, but per my daughter it is TO…DIE…FOR…
The dialog in my head…Great! Just what we all need…another snack to like…
Because I already have a long list, I try to avoid sampling new snacks, treats, or baked goods. And I do believe there is butter in that recipe, as well–because we no longer have any.
As I finished my drive home, I figured that peanut butter is protein, sort of. And there must be fiber in Chex Mix. As for the chocolate, there are always reports about dark chocolate being healthy—there must be something redeeming in chocolate chips. I couldn’t think of a way to spin the powdered sugar or the butter.
The reality? The teenagers ate a congealed mass of sugary goo with zero nutritional value for dinner last night. And the parents’ were MIA while they did so. I’m sure the children think we are Role Models for Perfect Parenthood. For now, until their sugar buzz wears off.
Thank goodness I didn’t want any Puppy Chow. What little I could have scraped out of the Tupperware container was ruined, because our doggie guest stuck his slimy tongue in for his share.
The kids did clean up my kitchen per my instructions. Somehow, it fell apart while they ‘hung out’ during the day.
Unfortunately, they laid waste to it while concocting their Dinner of Champions. Because they are
wonderful children, I am sure they will clean it up themselves. Positive of it, actually. Because I am not cleaning that mess up.
After all, I got up at 5:30 this morning to shuttle my son and his buddy to early morning football workouts. And also because it is a one can of Diet Coke morning. (Two cans is much better…) But one can is better than none.
My daughter likes to tell people that I am “addicted to coke.” She means Diet Coke. The Cardinal Rule in our house is that nobody drinks the last Diet Coke. They know that I cannot function without it.
Who am I kidding? I can hardly function with it. Otherwise, the children would have had dinner last night. Instead, they ate a Tupperware container of sugar slop.
I am confident that last night was probably an educational experience for the children. They must have learned how awful it feels to consume empty calories in the evening. They will certainly feel sluggish this morning. And swear off the Puppy Chow in the future…
And because ‘Charles’ and I are usually responsible, attentive parents—we will be making dinner tonight. I am almost sure of it.