SUGAR…Dinner of Champions?

Yet again, I am a Role Model for Perfect Parenthood.

Busy yesterday putting together a brochure for a freelance job and preparing for a Writers Group Meeting, I didn’t quite have dinner together.

Okay…my cupboards were as bare as Mother Hubbard’s Cupboard.

Is there sugar falling from the sky?

Although my ex-boyfriend and I no longer date, his children, my children and I often spend time together. And despite her brother being my ex-husband, we are pet sitting my sister-in-law’s dog this week.

I swept out of the house at 6pm to get to my meeting, leaving behind; my two teenagers, the ex-boyfriends three teenagers, a couple of boyfriends and three dogs. With the potential for more teens to stop by…

In the car, I rang up the ex boyfriend to let him know that I was out for the evening and that I had left a houseful of unsupervised teenagers with no food back at my house. He got another call and said he would call me back. It’s a good thing I didn’t wait…

Charles Atlas

My ex boyfriend is on a bender of a health kick. Complete with exercise and lots of healthy food. He has dropped a fantastic amount of weight—and quickly. At the rate he is going, he will soon look like Charles Atlas.

If I were a betting girl, I would guess that ‘Charles’ consumed some concoction of protein and veggies–while our children ate sugar cubes??

‘Charles’ let the children know that he had plenty of ‘good food’ over at his house. And that they were all welcome to come on over when they got hungry. He has always been a good sport about a slew of kids, my two dogs and even a couple of cats making themselves comfortable in his house.

A couple of kids’ ears perked up at his offer, because my ex-boyfriend is known to be an excellent cook. Then his daughter (the one I refer to as my godchild) described his new eating habits. Gone are the huge dinner-breakfasts of pancakes, hash browns with homemade creamy sauce, bacon, sausage, eggs, and biscuits. Gone are the Mexican feasts, Avocado cheeseburgers on thick buns with homemade French fries…

Instead of heading over there for healthy food, the children ran to the store for the ingredients to make “Puppy Chow.”

It looked so much worse, than what I pictured during my ride home...

“Puppy Chow” I said, visualizing the children drizzling chocolate, butter and sugar over real dog food.  God knows, we have enough of it in the house this week!

“No,” Said my daughter “It’s Chex Mix cereal, chocolate chips, peanut butter, powdered sugar… “

“Oh,” I said, beginning to get the idea. I’ve never actually made this Puppy Chow junk before, but per my daughter it is TO…DIE…FOR…

The dialog in my head…Great! Just what we all need…another snack to like…

Because I already have a long list, I try to avoid sampling new snacks, treats, or baked goods. And I do believe there is butter in that recipe, as well–because we no longer have any.

As I finished my drive home, I figured that peanut butter is protein, sort of. And there must be fiber in Chex Mix. As for the chocolate, there are always reports about dark chocolate being healthy—there must be something redeeming in chocolate chips. I couldn’t think of a way to spin the powdered sugar or the butter.

The reality? The teenagers ate a congealed mass of sugary goo with zero nutritional value for dinner last night. And the parents’ were MIA while they did so. I’m sure the children think we are Role Models for Perfect Parenthood. For now, until their sugar buzz wears off.

a teenage finger...or a doggie tongue??

Thank goodness I didn’t want any Puppy Chow. What little I could have scraped out of the Tupperware container was ruined, because our doggie guest stuck his slimy tongue in for his share.

The kids did clean up my kitchen per my instructions. Somehow, it fell apart  while they ‘hung out’ during the day.

Unfortunately, they laid waste to it while concocting their Dinner of Champions. Because they are

Does this need an explanation?

wonderful children, I am sure they will clean it up themselves. Positive of it, actually. Because I am not cleaning that mess up.

After all, I got up at 5:30 this morning to shuttle my son and his buddy to early morning football workouts. And also because it is a one can of Diet Coke morning. (Two cans is much better…) But one can is better than none.

My daughter likes to tell people that I am “addicted to coke.” She means Diet Coke. The Cardinal Rule in our house is that nobody drinks the last Diet Coke. They know that I cannot function without it.

Who am I kidding? I can hardly function with it. Otherwise, the children would have had dinner last night. Instead, they ate a Tupperware container of sugar slop.

I am confident that last night was probably an educational experience for the children. They must have learned how awful it feels to consume empty calories in the evening. They will certainly feel sluggish this morning. And swear off the Puppy Chow in the future…

And because ‘Charles’ and I are usually responsible, attentive parents—we will be making dinner tonight. I am almost sure of it.

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About Amy Lauria

Artist. Writer. Single Parent of two college students. Beach Walker. Dog owner who walks outdoors to maintain sanity. Into shiny objects, vacations, glitter, cupcakes, sports, and my beloved sticks, stones and beach glass.
This entry was posted in Dogs, On the Job (Working Mother), Teenagers | Parenting and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to SUGAR…Dinner of Champions?

  1. I thoroughly enjoyed this post. I may reassure you that we are not in the least bit upset that you didn’t prepare dinner. I didn’t really expect you to. I also didn’t expect to stay around until 10:30.

    I love Puppy Chow, and sorry to say, I started the fad. I actually got the recipe from a friend, and I’ve been making personal-sized samples for snacks for years, but I knew the family size recipe too. So…when I made a bowl for myself yesterday evening with Rice Krispies instead of Chex and chocolate syrup instead of chips (I had an allergy attack…I deserved it), the other three really wanted some. So the happy couple went to the store to pick up Chex and chocolate chips and I fed them the recipe from the lounging section of the couch. And Yes, I had another whole bowl of ‘the real stuff’. Delicious. We will make you some, for sure, sometime.

    I can relate to the ‘awful feeling of consuming raw calories’, but like I said, I deserved it. ;] At 9:30, I did throw on my new shoes and go for a walk/run around the ‘Hood. Moral of the story: Don’t feel bad. We loved it. =]

    • Amy Lauria says:

      I would not have guessed that it was you!!

      It is almost funnier to me now. I did feel a little bit badly…but overall, I found the whole situation rather hilarious. And I am glad you had fun and got a chance to lounge.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I was choking with laughter! Me the queen of sweets does not want to ever try that concoction! How lucky that all those ex’s and kids have you in their lives!

    • Amy Lauria says:

      Actually, I am the lucky one. I’ve been fortunate to have had wonderful people in my life–some for long periods of time…some for shorter periods of time.

  3. mackenzie says:

    best dinner ever! I have a gallon and a half of it sitting on the counter in the kitchen, headed for cedar point. Though, it does leave a lump n your stomach, after eating excess. but, love the post. you find humor in the simplest of things.

    love, the Godchild

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