Walking on Broken Glass (And Into Walls…)

It has been almost two weeks since I walked into a metal shelf. The facial swelling is gone…

I walked into the garage to turn a light off, so that I wouldn’t accidentally leave it on. Just one more thing, before I sat down. Never mind that I had been ‘just one more thing-ing’ hours, I marched into the garage.

And banged my forehead into a shelf with such momentum, that I sort of bounced backwards.

Couldn’t help it, I cursed. Then laughed. Then mopped up the blood, grabbed an ice pack from the fridge and tossed myself on the couch. There was no choice.

I got a little nervous when my laceration still pained me a few days later and the swelling worsened, instead of getting better. (I ended up having my doctor take a look at it.)

For nearly a week, the bridge of my nose, eyelids, eyebrow area and forehead were so swollen when I woke, that my eyes appeared smaller—the swelling actually obscured my vision. Kids couldn’t keep a straight face when they looked at me.

At least it was easy to keep my head ‘elevated’ since it sits on my shoulders.

And now I am down to a small bump on my forehead that I can cover with my bangs.

Even with the mess on my face, the Little Black Dog and I took our usual walks on the beach. Didn’t matter that my head throbbed, especially on the cold, windy days. Being outside clears my brain and restores my energy. I cannot cope without daily ‘outside time.’

While I walk the beach, I gather beach glass, rocks and driftwood. And I use these things to decorate my home and landscape.

Something significant happened just recently.

I found a yellow rock, which was ironic because I stopped looking for yellow rocks last summer.

For months last spring, the kids and I collected yellow rocks at the beach. And we NEVER found a truly yellow rock. And we searched daily. But we did find quite a few that were nearly yellow.

Why the yellow rocks?

Because yellow is the Clever College Girl’s favorite color. Clothing. Shoes. Magic Markers. Notebooks. Prom dress. Socks. The last time she was home, she brought a package of yellow Peeps over when she visited. (This might be the ONLY form of sugar that I can’t tolerate…)

Anyways, we partially filled a glass jar with yellow(ish) rocks and gifted them to the Clever College Girl. That way she had a bit of ‘home’ in her dorm room. (She loves the beach, too) And she can add to her jar while at college, if she chooses to. Kind of a sentimental thing, I suppose. But her jar of treasures looks pretty in her dorm room.

I will admit that this particular yellow rock is more like a chunk of beach-tossed ceramic or tile. But it STILL counts as a rock. Because it is the color of Big Bird.

As I held it in my hand, I was struck by something that I KNOW. But that I sometimes forget.

The best things in life are often just THERE.

We look and look—only to come up empty. And then out of the blue, that which we were looking for just shows up. Usually when we STOP looking! And it is such a thrill and a gift.

I was reminded that no amount of stressing, controlling, manipulating, fighting, negotiating, talking, or pushing changes some things in life.

All we can do is work hard. Try our best. Then at some point, let go. And see what happens…

I wouldn’t say I am controlling. But I think we all have a tendency to think we have more control than we actually have over many things in life. There are times when I just suck at the letting go thing.

And I have an awful tendency to push myself too hard. In my younger years, I didn’t realize I was doing this. So to some extent, I have gained a little (just a tiny bit) of wisdom. And I try to take a break BEFORE I hit the wall.

Just before I literally walked into a shelf attached to the garage ‘wall,’ I knew I was nearing my physical/emotional limits.

Did I rest? Of course not.

I went into the garage to turn off a light. Then smashed my head so badly that I HAD to sit myself down.

Was it vital that the light was on? Probably not. Was anything I had spent the previous few hours doing vital? I doubt it.

Used to be that I didn’t see it coming. That I didn’t know HOW to give myself a break. Or to stop pushing. That I didn’t make it a priority to give myself time for the little things that bring me happiness.

These days, I usually stop before I injure myself.

And I make time for walks on the beach and other activities that I enjoy. There is something about being out in nature that I find calming. And I’ve learned that when my mind and body are completely relaxed and at peace, I am at my most creative. I always end up with a new idea, or solve a problem that has weighed on me. Or I get a lesson or two…

The yellow rock will soon be mailed to my favorite Clever College Girl, because it will look pretty in her glass jar. And it will make her smile.

The lessons? I don’t always need to push myself so hard. Many times, pushing hard doesn’t do any good, or makes matters worse. Things usually fall into place when the time is right—often, when we are least expecting it.

I won’t need the actual yellow rock as a reminder of these lessons.  I’m fairly certain that the small welt on my cranium is there for good.

Thankfully, I am a ‘bangs’ girl…

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About Amy Lauria

Artist. Writer. Single Parent of two college students. Beach Walker. Dog owner who walks outdoors to maintain sanity. Into shiny objects, vacations, glitter, cupcakes, sports, and my beloved sticks, stones and beach glass.
This entry was posted in Deep Thoughts, The best laid plans... and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Walking on Broken Glass (And Into Walls…)

  1. Zee says:

    Sometimes what you write seems to be exactly what I need to hear at that particular time in my life…thanks Amy 🙂

    • Amy Lauria says:

      Thank you for taking a moment to let me know that. I realized early on while writing this blog that we all muddle through life…having similar experiences. While many people are good at talking about them, I seem to be able to write about them….And so I do. Randomly. With no real plan. (And to the relief of those who DON’T want to listen to me talk!!!). I’m glad my timing has worked for you…

  2. Laurel says:

    I just happen to find your blog after googling “driftwood in the landscape” for images. (I was looking for some garden inspiration) My healthy obsession for sea glass was what made me click. I could totally relate to that whole scenario you described, especially getting to that point when something FORCES US to stop. You write really well~ I enjoyed reading. I’ll have to browse & see what kind of colorful inspiration you have to share!

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