My Virgin Experience with Tree Trimmers (and an insect)

Usually, I have my landscaping trimmed back in early spring. This spring was no different. Got the beds weeded. Patio Furniture out.

Nothing worse than cleaning up the yard when it is 95 degrees…

But for the first time, I busted out a tree topper. The thing with the long pole where you pull the string to clip branches. A virgin experience. Never used one before.

Our backyard has three HUGE trees that block the sun. I’m not opposed to shade, but a drop of sunlight back there would be nice…

The dogs agreed. They were annoyed by all the shade. Either that or because I was taking their picture??

I finished up and felt a sense of accomplishment as I looked around the yard. It looked so much better. Except for one little section. I held the giant pole up to that section, looked up and removed a few stray branches.

That’s when the bug flew into my nose. (Virgin experience number two.)


Done. Game over. I set the tree topper down.

Then gagged. Blew my nose hard enough to lose brain cells. Brain cells that I’m not sure I can spare…

But there was STILL this tickle–or itchy feeling deep inside my nose. I coughed and gagged a few more times. Hopped up and down. The thought of a creepy crawler up there was too much for me.

I tried some nasal spray, thinking it couldn’t hurt.

Then threw up. (Twice)

Drank a little water.

Finally (probably because of the nasal spray) the offending insect exited down into my mouth in a pool of snot, which I spit out.

I managed NOT to barf a third time. (barely…)

And I’m not sure why I felt so violated. It was just one small bug.

I’ve had insects fly into my mouth while hiking in the woods. Not many options when that happens and they hit the back of the throat. Can’t spit them out.

Several times, I’ve swallowed bugs hardly missing a stride.

My nose was a whole different story.

I STILL haven’t trimmed up the front shrubs weeks later. But it needs to happen this weekend. Thinking about it–even typing this–has me nauseous.

My daughter wants to go to the beach. Son has ‘gone fishing.’ I think I have plans for later. (And if not, I can find some plans…)  And I know I have plans tomorrow and tomorrow night…

Anyways, it is going to be a scorcher. Maybe too hot for yardwork?


About Amy Lauria

Artist. Writer. Single Parent of two college students. Beach Walker. Dog owner who walks outdoors to maintain sanity. Into shiny objects, vacations, glitter, cupcakes, sports, and my beloved sticks, stones and beach glass.
This entry was posted in Daily Life of a Single Parent and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to My Virgin Experience with Tree Trimmers (and an insect)

  1. Pingback: My Virgin Experience with Tree Trimmers (and an insect) | Playing … | Tree Trimmers Austin

  2. Anonymous says:

    Amy, good article. Brings back memories of our mission trip to Oaxaca, Mexico awhile back. As we were stomping down main street of Oaxaca we came across a vendor selling fried grasshoppers. So, of course we had to have a taste. They were truly awesome. They contained some important vitamins and low in calories. We bought a batch and snacked on them that day. Moral of the story, try to fry bugs before eating, if possible. ha,ha.

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